Are you learning from them?

We like to think we’re stronger than we really are. Or wiser. Or holier. It’s easy for us to convince ourselves that we don’t need anybody except ourselves to accomplish what we desire. Praise the Lord that He’s opened our eyes to see our need for a Savior, to see that we can’t save ourselves. We need God to change our hearts, to give us new hearts.

But even though we’ve humbled ourselves to God in salvation, many of us still act like we don’t need anybody else’s help, especially in our walks with the Lord. It’s just me and Jesus, and that’s all I need. We act like Lone Ranger Christians. Maybe we’re making acquaintances or friends as we pass through this life, but we’re not really depending on anybody else. We’re not letting people really know us, and we’re not digging deep to get to know other people.

We deceive ourselves when we think we don’t need to be in relationship with other people when it comes to our faith. We weren’t meant to live this life alone. Praise the Lord that He gave us the church. Hopefully, most of you have true brothers and sisters in the faith who you meet with regularly to help you grow spiritually. But I’m guessing that the people who you spend the most time with are people who are similar to yourself. Maybe the same age, same life-stage, same ethnicity, or even same socioeconomic level. We can tell ourselves that we just get along better with people who are like us. Or that we don’t have to explain ourselves to these particular people because we’re…alike.

But when we spend all of our time with people are just like us, we are limiting ourselves from the full blessing that God has given us in the people of His Church.  Have you considered what you’re missing out on when you only fellowship with people who are just like you? I understand that it’s not easy to get to know or spend time with people who you don’t naturally just flow with. Sometimes it takes so much effort, or we see little fruit when we do make the effort, that we get discouraged. Is it really worth it?

Yes! It is!

What can we do to build unity in our churches? How about learning from those who are different from you?

This could apply to those in the “other” congregations. But it could also apply to those who are in the same congregation as you, but who you don’t normally interact with. Maybe it means someone who is married with kids in college when you’re a single, young professional. Maybe it means someone who is your parents’ age.

There is so much to be learned from others, especially from those who are older and have many more years of life experience than us. The Lord seems to grant an increased measure of wisdom to those with more years of life experience. And no matter how old we are, we don’t know everything!

So what are ways we can be taking a posture of humility and sitting at the feet of others to learn from them?

1) LISTEN TO THEIR STORIES

You can learn a ton about the Lord’s work and about people by listening. Listen to their conversion stories, to their life stories, to how the Lord is growing them, to their struggle stories. We tend to be a generation that only wants to talk. And when we’re not talking, we only want to listen to things that interest us. And even then, we have short attention spans. But pray to the Lord that He would make you genuinely interested in knowing other people. Yes, sometimes it takes patience and endurance to listen to someone tell you the same story for the umpteenth time or to give you the long version of a story. But as we die to ourselves, and not worry about how we’re being inconvenienced (or even better, that we consciously decide to be inconvenienced for the gospel), we will be blessed in the wisdom and life stories of other saints.

Ask good questions. Be engaged in the conversation, showing that you’re valuing the other person and what they have to say.

An example in my own life of this is my relationship with one of the senior members of our congregation. Ms. Jeanette. She was Caucasian women, never married, and 50-60 years older than me. She had been using her “retirement” years faithfully volunteering in the church office every week. She would do her “jobs” each week, keeping our paper membership cards updated and making new ones for our growing congregation, and she would reset the pew bibles and hymnals after each Sunday. And she made sure I knew how to do my job! The Lord took her home a few years ago, and I miss seeing her every week and having good conversations with her. But I learned from her what it meant to persevere in the faith for all those years. And what it meant to serve the church sacrificially, even in your “retirement” years. And what it meant to trust the Lord even when things change around you. Here she was as an older member of a church for decades, and lots of things changed about the church culture…lots of younger folks became members and as the music changed and as the choir went silent. But she continued to love and invest in the people, and continued to serve with joy.

2) INITIATE THESE RELATIONSHIPS

How about taking the first steps and crossing the dividing “line”? Maybe it means inviting older, single members over to your house for dinner. Maybe it means asking a younger women over to your place to join you for lunch if you’re a mother with kids, inviting her into your chaotic home life. Maybe it means having a deeper conversation with someone you never had a conversation with before instead of your friends after service. I’m sure you remember how it felt when someone invited you to something or spent the time to talk with you for the first time. Reach out to those around you. And get to know them. And let them know you!

3) MENTORING RELATIONSHIPS

How about taking this “learning” to a deeper level? How about asking an older Christian to meet up with you regularly so you can learn from them? Maybe it’s reading a book together. Or asking him questions about his family and what it means to lead as a husband and father. Or asking her how their family does family worship or how the instruct and discipline their kids.

Any other ideas?

Advertisement